Tess: this is a tesst

This is a: 

a. Ever fresh refilling water bowl

b. A toilet

c. A training device for my human - if I stare at it long enough the lid is lifted. 

d. a and c

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It is acceptable to open the lid and partake of the contents when:

a. The human isn't looking

b. The human is looking but the contents make it worth your while

c. Never, just bump the lid and make noise to make the human think you are getting into it. 

d. something to be ignored at all times.

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Getting on the kitchen counter

a. Is fair game if there isn't actually food on it. 

b. Is off limits. 

c. Is totally OK if the food can be snarfed without a sound and the human is in the other room.

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Stuffed animals that have been placed in a hard-to-access-location are: 

a. Not for puppies

b. Only for puppies that earn the stuffed animal through superior problem solving abilities. 

c. A challenge

d. an opportunity to stare and bark in an attempt to train and communicate with the human.

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True or False: Left over food in the lower tray of the bird cage is a snack for dogs.

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When the automatic help-Mel-wake-up light comes on at 5:00am it means

a. Mel wants/needs/intends to get up and therefore appreciates white puppy help.

b. It's the start of a process that results in Mel getting up at 6am when the actual audible alarm goes off. 

c. You can play with Reed the Golden Retriever, preferably on the bed, the louder the better. 

d. If Mel doesn't get up in a timely manner, it's OK to chew paper, socks, or shoes that have been left on the floor.
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When the neighbor's cat sits on our patio, you should: 

a. Ignore it. 

b. Whine and put nose prints all over the front window glass. 

c. Bark and put your feet on the sill of the front window.

d. b and c
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That doesn't work

Food appears as a result of: 

a. going to your kennel and waiting patiently.

b. what time the clock says.

c. the result of being outside, being let in, and making the choice to go directly to your kennel. Thus if you are in the house, you should ask to be let outside, so you can go outside, to immediately come inside, and go into your kennel thus completely all steps of the magic spell. 

d. randomness.
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True or False: 

Mel likes picking up dog poop in the beginning of every single run, so don't bother doing ANYTHING when you are let outside in the backyard to play and poop and pee for an HOUR pre run in the mornings
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The couch in the front living room is: 

a. Dog-free couch only when Matt is in the room

b. Dog-free couch no matter who is or isn't in the room.

c. What does "dog-free" mean?

Busted!

You too!

As a reminder - this is what obedience looks like.

Seriously, you look just as happy and comfy on the floor.

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What couch? I don't see a couch in this room?

The couch in the back living room is:

a. Dogs allowed anytime

b. Dog-free

c. What couch? There's a couch in the back living room?

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Just say no to nail trims

Toenail trims are: 

a. Entirely optional

b. the purest form of torture

c. routine and harmless
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When on leash the dog:

a. Doesn't have to look at the handler for direction - that's what the leash is for. If something needs to be said, the handler will yank the leash. 

b. is free to sniff and criss cross the sidewalk because the leash keeps the dog out of danger. 

c. has a higher probability of being yelled at for something that is not the dog's fault. 

d. should act the same as if it's off leash - attentive, offering to heel, checking in with visual eye contact.

You can't be off leash all the time!!!!!

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During selfies the dog's role is to: 

a. look cute

b. be in blurry movement

c. photobomb

d. stress pant

e. all of the above except a.

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