Tess's advice about stuffed animals

My name is Tess and I love stuffed animals.

Especially the one she has in the corner of her closet - the ones she planned on giving to to her cousin’s kids.  There’s a ballerina that I love tearing the tutu off of, and a cow that moos when I chew down to the crunchy center. 

I wait until her back’s turned.  Perferably when she has some sort of shirt over her head, or one foot in her pants and then go for it! 

I don’t always have the time to pick and chose and go for the one closest to the front. 

I think she on to me though, because I’ve noticed all the good ones are in the back. 

I must admit that those things are a bit like crack cocaine - I can’t really remember, but I’m told that my eyes dilate and I run around with puppy zoomies once I get one. 

She’s trying this training method that involves her pretending that it’s no big deal - but I can tell.  I can smell her body language and she warring with how cute I am with the the stuffed animals and how much joy I get….versus how very naughty I’m being. 

I’m faster than her - although it’s fun to see her try.  Lately she she’s been playing less chase and pretending that whatever *I* have that *She* wants is a game of fetch and if I bring it right to her I get a treat. 

Sometimes I feel like playing…..sometimes I want to play my own game.  Like rip the tutu off the bear and see how many times I can sail over the bed before getting her attention. 

It isn’t like she doesn’t know I like soft fuzzy rip-able things.  For xmas I got a stuffed purple teddy bear.  For New Years I got an “indestructible” soft penguin. 

For my fellow dogs that end up with such a puzzle as a really tough soft toy in the shape of a penguin, here’s my suggestions.

1.  Go for the tag.  They’ll probably notice and cut it off but at least you tried.
2.  Rip off the fuzzy horns.
3.  start at the feet - you can generate the most force by pulling there. 
4.  After destroying the feet, you will have access to the body cavity.  Quick!  before the notice pull out all the stuffing and pretend to eat it!
5.  they will probably defluff it for you at this stage.  Now turn it inside out.  This gives you better access to the head and beak and make it more vulnerable. 
6.  Destroy the beak so that when they turn the toy right side out, they are traumatized by the sight of a ravaged bird face - with only the beak gnawed out.
7.  give it to the German Shepherd to finish off.